If life is a river then the author is the stagnant pool of water near the rocks... He wants to be a bum. But sadly this is denied of him by his parents. He fights for it but still. Failure... for him there is nothing like watching TV while lying on the sofa on a cold evening or sitting on the bed with a book and a cold drink. He lives by the laws of love and is evidently a bohemian by nature. For him "carpe diem" isn’t good enough. According to him, "you don’t just seize the day, you grab it by the balls and bite the stinking cock out of It." we can blame his demented mind for that. He is just plain sick. Although branded as a cynic he is no less a good friend. Maybe a bit cheeky, wanna-be-vagrant, I don’t know... He is just everything that you’re afraid of... a good looking retard. A believer of love, a student of human nature and most importantly a free thinker.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I am jealous, jealous of how the sun seems to greet you with joy and lovingly kiss you with its light every morning.
The way it bathes you in its glow and you shine, like the tell-tale signs of our midnight, moon-deprived love making.
It eats me inside, the way you gaze and romantically smile at the morning, a reminder that we are living the life of those star-crossed lovers that once grace Shakespeare's dark, brooding, cardiac-stopping comedies.
I die everyday that I am reminded that I can kiss you today and feel you're beating heart in my arms and the next, fall in love with only the memories of the warmth of your nape as I grace my lips, slowly, lovingly upon them.
The simple feel of your fingers, as they fill the solitary spaces between mine; a silent physical promise that what we have is real and it is worth breaking my heart over.
The night, oh those cruel nights...
Nights, when the blanket of your hug seems to be the only quench for the thirst that seeps in to the very soul of a heart that is use to sleeping in the dark, cold crevices of my romantic dead-ends.
And a life, a laugh, a memory that I can call my own with all the need for a love that like a flower will die with the abundance of water; and wilt with the heat of the sun that brings nourishment...
Slowly, ever so slowly, I resign to the sweet reality that I am, admittedly, whole-heartedly, sincerely am truly in love with you.
Posted at 01:52 pm by Jed Reston
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Mysteries of my Miseries and the Miseries of my Mysteries
Before I sat down and started composing this post, I was tiding up my room with reruns of Oprah on Studio 23 on TV to fill the monotony of doing household chores. A segment of theirs reminded of an unfinished night (and a hundred other nights), which was more or less already buried deep within the clutter of my summer of 2009 life -or so I thought it was.
It was a night like any other, except on that night we were spending one of our precious, stolen moments together. My day was hectic and my eyes were heavy because of it, but I was trying my very best to stay awake because, as I said, nights with her are precious, stolen moments and I for one don't want to miss any second when I am with her. She was playfully scolding me to go to sleep because she knows I had a long day and I was tired. God, knows I was fading in and out of sleep but still I stubbornly fought it. I wanted to milk the love out of every moment back then and sometimes I still wish I could. We were still cuddling when I fell asleep.
"And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other
So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today"
-Josh Groban (Awake)
A couple of hours later I stirred and felt her in my arms -the same way I left her before I dozed off to dreamland. She felt me wake and slowly gazed up and gave me a knowing smile and a full good morning/I Love You kiss. Suddenly, I feared the day I'd lose her, a day that I knew would eventually come because it wasn't just our precious moments that are stolen; the both of us are on borrowed time and she wasn't exactly what you would call mine. We were what you would call victims of circumstances. Time wasn't really our friend and love always came a day late and a dollar short for us.
"How do I get back there, to the place where I fell asleep inside you...
...When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be all right, all right "
-Third Eye Blind (Semi-Charmed Life)
Need less to say, now, I am standing in the midst of the aftermath of our romantic dead end, I still can't completely come to terms with why fate had to be so cruel as to always deal us with useless cards -A Queen that could use a pair of hearts, a King who only has diamonds in his eyes and a Jack asking for one more night, one more kiss, one more of everything or anything- and why of all people am I always handed the short-end of the stick. But still, looking back before I came in I always knew that she would never be mine and that the best we could get from this spin on romance's roulette table is either a broken heart or two broken hearts.
"I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again"
-Don Henley (Heart of the Matter)
When I said I love her, I really did and maybe now I still do. but we are moving on as we should but that doesn't mean that I don't miss her.
"Tonight, across the light-years of your absence,
The silence in this room is made palpable
By the rasping of amorous lizards on the wall"
-Prof. Anthony Tan (Letter to Ling)
Posted at 03:15 am by Jed Reston
Obviously, the title said more than I could ever write in this entry. But, for blogging's sake I'd still post something just to eat up the pent up bandwidth and for the simple reason that I can.
First off, I would like to congratulate MY Yatot for having her baby, welcome to the world Sophia Nikola Dela Fuente-Laviña.
Second, I haven't done squat with my life lately that's worth blogging about. Still the same old me, drinking, stinking, cigarette smoking ol me. There may be something new and big coming up so watch out ok? I think it will surprise everyone but I don't want to jinx so lets just let it be for the meantime.
Posted at 12:07 pm by Jed Reston
This is the first part of a series about my past romantic dead-ends. hehehehe… Enjoy!
“Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements,” the phrase hit me like an anchor, it was heavy as hell, it made a big splash and it created wave upon disturbing wave in my thoughts. Ah, you have no idea, what I am talking about? Let me orient you: we are in a secluded corner of the city, in a secluded corner of a local bar having the usual drinking binge. With me are three of the funniest and prettiest female specimens this side of the south. What is a smuck like me doing with three beauties? Well, half of the bill from the bar is on me along with half of the talk and about 80% of the advices. What sane advice could I possibly give them, you ask? Beats the hell out of me, but still they’re here and I am here, the alcohol is good, the she-nery is great and my heart found reason enough to skip a beat or two for one of the ladies I am sharing the drinks with. Her name is Felicia and she just broke up with her boyfriend. Now, if you have half a brain, you would know that, Felicia breaking up with her boyfriend is good news for any aspiring Romeo. And maybe, I am happy, but at that moment, at that exact moment, I wasn’t. I wasn’t happy because she was crying, though, she smiles like an angel and god damn it if she’s not the most beautiful thing when she has tears in her eyes but still, I hate the thought of her crying for a guy who doesn’t treat her right. If you’ve had the privilege of sharing her company, you would agree with me when I say that she is worth a hundred folds more than the guys who do not know her real value.
But, a curious thing happened, in the middle of all my care, concern and longing for her, I suddenly began to hate her; I felt contempt and disgust for her and for everyone like her. I suddenly felt this huge urge to scream out to her and say, “Ha! You deserve it, you she-spawn of Satan!” I wanted to put a bullet in the face of each and every woman who stuck it out with assholes like Felicia’s ex and they cry and bawl when they are left behind. All the while nice guys like me are waiting on the bench trying to cool the drinks and warm the towel for players like them.
Snap! The room suddenly started turning, slow at first then it started picking up speed, it turned left, right and slowly spiralled down –like the water in the toilet after you puked in it and hit the flush button.
Then, memories started flashing in front of my eyes; it wasn’t like dying, because the memories are about me and the women in my life. Is this an epiphany? Am I dead? Or maybe a combination of both? Then I felt a painful slap and thundering shout that said, “it’s a combination of both you moron, you’re supposed to learn something from this! Now pay attention.” I kicked back, gave a nervous smile and watch as the reel spin and the flashback started to play.
Part 1: Cecile and Tina
I fell victim to the alluring powers of women at a young age. Back at the tender age of 5, I had no idea that women are soft as pillows and painful as circumcisions. Ok, maybe I am a wee bit unfair; circumcisions aren’t as painful as women. It’s more like, women are as soft as pillows and painful beyond comprehension.
First cut wasn’t the deepest for me, but then again the first girl didn’t really cut me, it was more like diaper rash -itchy and painful when scratched. Her name was Cecille, she had jet black hair, bronze skin and was a consistent honour student; and what I felt for her wasn’t a lot like love, it was more like a school yard crush, but deeper in its confusion. Remember, I was 5 years old then, I couldn’t blame my confusion on hormones, I am not even sure what hormones were back then. But it was the first time that I’ve ever encountered the sad feeling of not being able to talk to “the girl” that you want to talk to. As you can see even then, I was slowly fitting the mold of the pathetic sissy that I am today, I felt too much but I had no idea where to direct my feelings or how.
Posted at 05:44 pm by Jed Reston
Even if we are not a fan, most of us have a Michael Jackson song that we call our own. More often than not it is a Michael Jackson hit that we have adopted and called our own. It maybe a song that has touched us the most, a song that we can relate to or even a song as simple as something that we sing in the bathroom in our private moments with the shower head. Admit it or not, not all of us have a Beatle song, Elvis song or even a Backstreet or N’SYNC song but most of us have a Michael Jackson song to call our own. Even though the man was shrouded in mystery, scandals and sometimes negativity, he gave the world something; he gave the world his music and his magic. Anyway, my point is we all have a Michael Jackson song –mine is “Man in the Mirror.” I don’t know why that is my MJ song, maybe it’s because we sang it countless of times in the dull moments of our duty during my nursing days or maybe I just like the message or maybe I usually talk to myself in front of the mirror. (Too much freaky information on the last part?)“I am talking to the man in the mirror
Join me as we salute the man who has given us something to call our own.
I am asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and make that change.”
Posted at 05:44 pm by Jed Reston
I am posting this from the ABS-CBN Davao's Production Office. I've been working here since May 10 as an OJT/Intern. It's been good so far, I've met Sen. Francis Pangilinan, Vice-Mayor Sara Duterte, Michelle Robin, Francis Magbanua, Claudette Centeno, Popong Landero, and other national and local characters. Ohh, I've also managed to sneak in an Interview with Congresswoman Darlene Antonino-Custudio and Mayor Pedro Acharon Jr. of Gen. Santos.
Posted at 01:21 am by Jed Reston
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Again, I have been too busy to update this blog. (So what else is new?) What have I been up to lately? Well, I'am currently doing my OJTs, and yes OJT"s" I spelled that right, TV, Print and Radio.
Just finished my training with RMN Networks, its a national Radio station. Got to Interview some pretty interesting people and I had the chance to join the KBP Sportsfest, which was a blast by the way. Now, I am with Brigada News Philippines, its a local daily here in Gensan and it has sisters in CDO and DVO. So far I've had the chance to interview Vice Governor Steve Solon of Saranggani, Mayor Enrique Yap of Glan, Chief Senior Inspector Roy Romualdo of Glan, SFC. Larry Aarron of the Joint Special Operations Task Force-Philippines and Angela Ripdos the Municipal Planning and Development Coordinator and etc. I've also had the chance to attend the US Army Medical Mission in Pangyan, The International Training Course on the Investigation and Prosecution of Extrajudicial Killings, Enforced Disapperances and Torture for Public Prosecutors, Human Rights Workers and other Legal Professionals organized by the American Bar Association and the Center for International Law and I attended a small rally organized by a local transport group.
Tomorrow I'll be covering the General Santos City Police Office Basketball Tournament and I'll be Interviewing the ATO Security Manager for Gen. Santos International Airport and I'll will also be doing an interview with the Gensan top cop PSSI.Robert Po.
-Loving my course! hehehe...
Posted at 04:15 am by Jed Reston
There are times when you just can't help but pull the trigger. Times when standing over the abyss and waiting for the surge of wind to blow and topple you over just isn't enough so you end up jumping the gun and biting the bullet. Surprisingly, the bullet feels sweet and nonchalantly sweet, kind of like MnM's, melting in your mouth and not in your mouth.
Posted at 08:07 am by Jed Reston
I've been very busy lately, I am not graduating this march but me and my friends tell people that we are. It saves us a lot of time explaining why we are running around campus trying to do what would normally take five or six people to do. Here's a couple of updates that should explain why I've been busy lately.
March 05, 2009 - We had our very version of Miss Saigon for our MC 8: Theater Productions and we kicked ass. You wouldn't believe the praises that were heaped or way after that production. The teachers and staff wants us to do it again, sadly they're unwilling to fork up the money to stage it. Don't you just love private institutions?
March 11-14 -Our class put up a photo exhibit entitled Tuladan. Tuladan is a Maguindanaon word which means pictures, more or less it was a showcasing of different shots and images of the world as seen through the eyes and lenses of the 3rd year Mass Communication students of NDDU. I served as the Chairman of the said event and again... As expected, was busy because of it. hehehe... Good news though, I won the 1st and 2nd place for the Body and Beauty Category. Pictures are in my Friendster account.
That's it for now and see you in the next post. Whenever that may be.
Posted at 02:15 am by Jed Reston
Monday, November 24, 2008
"Ill be the rain falling on your fire escape
And I may not be the man you want me to
I can be myself, how bout you?
I dont wanna make you mad
I dont wanna meet your dad
I dont wanna be your dream come true
cause I dont know just what Ive found
I dont know my sky from ground
I dont know where Im going to
I dont know about you"
And then there was rain....
Posted at 12:19 am by Jed Reston